


In Which "carcinoGenecist" Types a Story Based on a Dream She Had

by carcinoGeneticist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I had a dream about this once, M/M, Please be nice, davekat - Freeform, everybody - Freeform, many ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-08 07:04:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carcinoGeneticist/pseuds/carcinoGeneticist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when I eat sugar before bed...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enter Humans and Karkat

Sollux POV

The human's were scheduled to arrive today. And Kk wasn't back yet. Great. He was off doing more of his portal jumping bullshit, and research. After Sburb, he "unlocked his true potential" as Doc called it and was told he had to do research of the various different species and dimensions of existence. He brought his phone with him, I know he did. He always does. But I don't think he gets any service on another planet. Unless, of course, AT & T really was everywhere. In the last two sweeps, Karkat Vantas did nothing but get bulkier and smarter. He really showed off his leading abilities when he sparked, took over, and won the rebellion against hemospectrum discrimination. He also grew wings in one of his many adventures. Big. Black. Feathery. Wings. I was worried the humans wouldn't recognize him. He used to me a 4'5 twig and is now a 6'2 war lord. He kind of turned into a beef cake. Hell, he beat the shit out of Equius a little while ago. Everyone learned a lesson that day, "Don't call Karkat Vantas a low blood."

I was down in the lab, fingers crossed, hoping a black portal would rip through and out would fly my best friend. He was my second best friend actually. Tz was my Morail, so she automatically help first place. Gz was Kk's. Everything kind of worked out that way. I was sent by little miss second-in-command to wait for the humans' arrival. After Sburb, Kk and Aa started this unspoken alliance, and now she was little miss perfect. Everyone thinks they're matesprits, but they keep denying it.

Sadly, the bright light of the transportalizer reached me before the portal.

"Hi Sollux!" John practically screamed.

Dave just nodded. He was cool like that. Jade was jumping uncontrollably rambling on about how tall I had gotten or how much she missed Feferi. It was true, all of us had gotten taller. Rose approached me with caution and asked if she could see her long-term matesprit.

"Before any of you begiin wiith your hello2 and what not, ii have been iin2tructed two take you all to get 2ettled iin before ii overwhelm you wiith everythiing that ha2 changed around here," I stated matter-of-factly. I really had been, Aa told me to.

Everyone grabbed their belongings and traveled with me up stairs and out of the first level of the dingy basement. We all decided to build one giant hive and live together as a family, and after everything we'd been through, we practically were. I didn't say anything and just silently led them up the stairs to the ninth floor. John and I just started to fly, earning us a disappointed groan from Rose.

Before Kk had left, He outfitted each room to accommodate the human living there. Each respiteblock was personalized to the last details. John's was a bright blue, with lots of open spaces for him to fly. Jade's had two of the four walls made completely out of glass which basically turned her room into a greenhouse. Rose had a bed made for two incase Kanaya wanted to join her. Her room was darker and had a more cryptic undertone. Dave's was soundproof with many electrical sockets to fit all of his turntables. Kk even donated one of his sound boards to this room. Each one of the interior designs had some splash of red as Kk's way of claiming his work. it wasn't anything that stood out to much, but it also wasn't anything removable. None of them wanted to even unpack their things. Rose wanted to see Ka, Jade wanted to see Ff, and, surprisingly, John and DAVE wanted to see Kk. I would let Aa tell them he wasn't here. I pulled them into the elevator that was too small for all of their bags and pressed the button that would take us to the first floor.

The slid open. Everyone jumped to their feet and made a bee-line for us. Many welcomes and hugs and handshakes were distributed before everyone calmed down and returned to their seats. Dave was the first to pop the question.

"wheres vantas"

It hung in the air for a minute. Us trolls all silently agreed none of them would believe it if they heard it, so no one said anything. The silence was becoming awkward.

As if on cue, That same portal opened up and out flew a mass of black feathers, tar, and candy-apple red. He bent his wings and made a graceful 180, firing a hand held pistol into the portal before swiping his hand through it, destroying it.


	2. Enter: Battle Wounds

Karkat's POV

I stood triumphantly. Another universe was about to feel the hand of my kingliness or whatever. My wings ached and I had a hole in my torso big enough to throw a football through. I could feel the tar boiling in my stomach again, and the humans were here. Great. John was horrified and scared, Jade was worried, Rose was curious, and Dave was indifferent. I could tell from their pulses, positions, and movements.

"0h my g0g Karkat! are y0u alright?" Aradia screamed, shoving people out of the way and up to me.

"ME? I'M FI-" I stopped.

This tar was gonna come up. I could feel it. Making a beeline for the kitchen sink, my body hutched. The same black tar that came out when I bled too much came ripping up my protein chute, causing a seething burning sensation. Out it came in fast blows. The black gunk spewed out of my body and didn't stop until I started seeing red. Aradia was patting the space on my back between my wings whispering words of encouragement. Finally, it stopped. All the vomit, black, red, and white hue over my eyes stopped. I looked at her, and she gave me the same scared expression when my eyes fogged over with black and the only light was the red beam far in the back of the black, smokey, void. I slammed my eyes shut as Dave walked into the kitchen. I forced my body down, and my wings forced themselves back into my body. I could see, and it wasn't dark anymore. I was back to normal, or at least normal by my standards. My side still burned like hell as Aradia helped me to my feet. Eridan come storming into the kitchen with the first aid kit.

"hold still kar," he directed.

I peeled my blood soaked shirt off and threw it on the ground with a splat. I saw Dave's jaw drop at my sight. I didn't wanna brag, but a ten pack is hard to come by.

"howw did you get this wwound? it must hurt like a fuckin bitch."

"I WASN'T FAST ENOUGH. TAKE THIS AS A LESSON, DON'T UNDERESTIMATE YOUR OPPONENT, NO MATTER HOW CUTE AND FUZZY THE FIRST APPEARANCE MAY BE. AND IT DOESN'T HURT THA-" I almost broke off into screams.

Eridan was pulling a needle through my torn and tattered skin, closing the wound. I let him finish his work, with out any other signs than my silence at the sheer amount of pain.

"n0w g0 take a sh0wer, y0u l00k terrible!" she commanded.

"ONLY IF YOU INFORM THE TERRIFIED HUMANS WHAT THE FUCKS UP WITH," I justured to my entire self, "THIS."

She nodded and shooed me off.


	3. In Which Dave Sees Karkat Naked

KARKAT'S POV

I took my merry fucking time washing away the stress and dirt of my previous adventure off. The steaming hot water was a type of relief to my sore, aching muscles. I stood in the water and let my thoughts wander. What did she say? What questions would they have? I was curious about each of their reactions. I suppose it wasn't really anything I could control. It was something that I had dwelled on quite a bit recently. What would my life be like if I hadn't reached God Tier?

Well, for starters, I'm pretty sure we would all be dead. It was my absorption that killed Lord English, and the enhancement of my abilities that killed the Batter Witch and all of her little followers.

I wouldn't be nearly as powerful as I am now. My new abilities helped me free my planet from segregation, bring forth a new queen, and led to the falling of three kingdoms by my hands.

Of course, everything had a side effect. The tar, feathers, shift in vision, and insatiable bloodlust were just a few of the many side effects that were caused by my newly gained power.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how happy I was to be back "home." It really wasn't something my species took into consideration. We tended to move to wherever we were safest, so the establishment of a "home" was extremely rare. My constant dwelling on the matter allowed my to conclude something, this was my home. This was a place where I always looked forward to visiting. This was a place where I had people who cared about me. This was a place where I felt safe. That was most likely the biggest light bulb for me. This place was a safe haven. I felt protected here, which was uncommon for me.

After all soap had been applied and washed off, I turned the water off. Grabbing a towel, I reluctantly left the warm confines of the bathroom to enter the cold hallway. My room was just around the corner, so it wasn't like I was too worried, and by now, I'm pretty sure there hadn't been anyone that hadn't seen me naked. ALWAYS BY ACCIDENT OF COURSE!

I turned the corner and smacked into someone. He was probably the only one that I had a problem with seeing me in anything less than a pair of jeans. The stoic hipster re-adjusted his dumb shades and fixed his snow-white hair quickly before standing up to asses my features.

where is my towel? Where is my towel? HOLY SHIT! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TOWEL?!

I suppose my shock was clearly visible on my face, because Dave smirked at me. Even through his shades, I watched his red eyes travel down my body- NO!

I slapped him across the face, and quickly located the cloth, before storming off to my room leaving him stunned in silent.


	4. In Which Dave Does Things

DAVE'S POV

Well, that was interesting. I just bashed into a naked Karkat. He wasn't entirely naked though. He originally had a towel. But he dropped it.

I let my eyes wander a bit. His black hair was different then the huge mess it used to be. He got a new style to it. I couldn't place it, but I liked it. It was something original in his own right. Even if it was wet.

I noted his skin tone. It had always been a bit lighter than the other trolls. You could see his blood through it better. One half glowed a pale red. The other half seemed masked in darkness. It would have been a bit harder if he weren't coated in cuts, scrapes, and bruises. It hurt my heart.

His normally tired eyes had a bright fire behind him. To be honest, I probably would have done anything he had asked me to. He really looked like a leader. It was odd. He looked like someone who knew suffering and pain. Like, had a huge fucking brunch with them every Thursday. Like, all their moms were in the same PTA.

His muscles really defined themselves. He looked really good. He was one piece of eye candy.

I noted the way his muscles suddenly tensed before I let my eyes drift lower.

Like it came ripping through the darkness, a hand met my face with a pop, launching my glasses off the bridge of my nose and down the long hallway. While I recovered them, he must have found his towel. Much to my dismay, and trudged away blushing crazily muttering about "FUCKING HIPSTER PIGS."

That's when it really hit me. Fuck! I was crushing pretty fucking hard. I had been for a while now. Let's face it, his anger was only some huge shell. According to Rose, he was a bit of a turtle. You had to dig pretty fucking deep to get him to trust you, and it took a lot of time. But, when you got to it, it was fucking amazing. Like a kids first piece of candy. Like that one sheltered christian kid that when they got to the party, they were drunk off their ass and half naked because they didn't understand moderation.

I had to talk to someone about this.

Adjusting my hair, I stood. I pulled out my iphone. I didn't care if she was online of not. She would get so fucking fed up with my amazing pestering, that she would answer me just to shut me up.

TurntechGodhead began pestering TentacleTherapist

TG: yo

TG: yo sis

TG: yo i seriously need to talk to you

TG: im about to start using grammar

TG: like

TG: correct grammar

TG: Rose, can you PLEASE contact me. I really need to talk to you.

TT: Well, this is a bit of a shock. My own ecto-brother using correct grammar?

TG: shut the fuck up

TG: this is serious

TT: Might I ask what's wrong?

TG: its him

TT: Again?

TG: yes again

TG: i saw him

TT: I saw him too. He was covered in tar and had various cuts on his body. It wasn't a pretty sight. I hope he's alright.

TG: no

TG: like

TG: i saw him naked

TG: nothing stopping me

TT: What have you concluded?

TG: i really like him

TT: I was unaware.

TG: he was so

TT: so?

TG: perfect

TG: he seemed to glow such a brilliant shade of perfect

TG: he looked like an angel of darkness

TG: like a real leader

TT: ...

TG: what

TT: o_o

TG: What?!

TT: I've never seen you praise someone so.

TT: I find it rather odd.

TG: yeah well

TG: so is your shitty emocon

TG: can you just help me out

TT: I don't believe I'm qualified to help you into the heart of a certain Mr. Vantas.

TG: so what should i do

TG: keep wanting from afar

TT: I think you should talk to someone that knows him better than I do.

TG: are you telling me to talk to that juggalo

TG: are you serious

TG: come on

TG: how can i trust him not to fucking gouge me

TG: like fucking jeff the killer

TG: or some shit

TT: Talk to him.

TT: I'm sure he just doesn't want to see his friend hurt.

TentacleTherapist ceased pestering TurntechGodhead

Well, Fuck! Now I need to go to the only person I'm pretty sure hates me with a burning passion for help to date his best friend. Well, better now than later.

TurntechGodhead began trolling terminallyCapricious

TG: look

TG: i know you probably hate me

TG: but i need your help

TC WhAt ThE mOtHeRfUcK iS uP?

TG: its about karkat

TC: Is SoMeThInG wRoNg

TG: not with him

TG: with me

TG: but its about him

TG: or because him

TC: (o:

TG: what

TG: whats with the face

TC: YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg FlUsH hIm, DoN't YoU?

TG: ...

TG: is it that obvious

TC: A lItTlE bIt

TG: fuck

TG: okay so

TG: then youre probably aware of why i need you

TC: WhAt dO yOu NeEd To KnOw MoThErFuCkEr?

TG: how i can get him to date me

TC: DaTe?

TG: shit

TG: right

TG: be my matesprit

TG: did i say that right

TC: I tHiNk YoUr MiRaCuLoUs HuMaN tErM iS "bOyFrIeNd"

TG: well

TG: yeah

TG: how did you know that

TC: KaRbRo ToLd Me

TC: YoU kNoW hE fLuShEs YoU, rIgHt?

TG: he what

TC: YeAh MoThErFuCkEr. He AlL uP aNd FlUsHeS yOu LiKe I fLuSh TaVbRo.

TG: holy shit

TG: are you serious

TC: YeAh BrO. hE mOtHeRfUcKiNg ToLd Me So.

TC: He WaS aLl LiKe:

TC: GAMZEE, I THINK I'M FLUSHING FOR DAVE.

TC: SoMeThInG lIkE tHaT

TG: woah

TG: fucking sweet!

TG: how should i go about this

TC: AsK hIm To A mOvIe Or SoMe ShIt.

TG: a romantic comedy

TC: NaW mOtHeRfUcKeR

TC: He'S oVeR tHaT

TG: what

TC: YeAh

TG: then what should we see

TG: what kind of movies does he like now

TC: HoRrOr

TC: SlAsHeR

TC: SuSpEnSe

TG: woah

TG: shit seriously

TG: that was unexpected

TG: thanks man

TC: YoUrE mOtHeRfUcKiNg WeLcOmE mAn

TC: OnE mOrE tHiNg StRiDeR

TG: yeah

TC: IF YOU EVER MOTHER FUCKING HURT KARKAT, I WILL PERSONALLY TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND PAINT SOME MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE PICTURES WITH YOUR BLOOD ALL OVER THE WALLS OF THIS MOTHERFUCKING HIVE.

TC: HoNk

TC: (o;

terminallyCapricious ceased trolling TurntechGodhead

Well, alright then. I can easily find a good slasher flick for our little murderer in training.

I wandered around the huge castle like building a bit more before I eventually made it back to the dining room. Aradia was still trying to explain what happened between Sburb and now. I personally didn't care what he was. He was still Karkat, so I still loved him.

God! I have really lost it. Maybe Rose was right. I guess I am in love with the not-so-short-anymore troll. I'm gonna get such a huge I told you so from bro.

Aradia looked up at me with disappointment.

"are y0u planning 0n j0ining us anytime s00n. if y0u're planning 0n g0ing thr0ugh with what everyone thinks y0u are, y0u might wanna kn0w s0me 0f this stuff."

John gave me a quizzical look, "what are you going to do dave?"

Aradia smirked, "0h! he's g0ing t0-"

I started coughing violently so she couldn't continue.

"nothing. ill sit in on your little class on the history of karkat vantas."


	5. In Which Dave and Aradia Talk About Karkat

DAVE'S POV

I basically sat in a room for three hours blanking out. When shit got interesting, I payed attention. But then it became boring again and I lost interest. I was straight up taking some fucking power naps while Aradia was talking. She didn't seem to care what I learned, so I went on with my naps and daydreams. From what I remember, Karkat is now this high and mighty king of some dimension filled with pain and sorrow or some shit. That's how he got his wings. He killed the old queen and mutated his blood with hers. Thus, big feathery wings. It also caused some kind of build up of dark-matter in his system, which explains the tar. He basically turned into the "God of Taint," as Megido put it.

Then I blanked again.

He can control people's minds better than Serket.

Blank.

He filled an entire room with journals on other species.

Blank.

Immortal.

Blank.

Constantly trying to commit suicide.

Bla- wait WHAT?

"waitwaitwaitwaitwait. what do you mean "trying to commit suicide?" I asked quizzically. Was he really that unhappy?

"exactly that. s0me h0w, even with all the riches and luxury, he said he still felt 'EMPTY.'"

Apparently he was.

"but why"

"i guess m0ney really d0esn't buy y0u happiness," she said with a sigh. "Dave, I want t0 talk t0 y0u after this alright?"

I just nodded. The idea of walking into the house and seeing Karkat's dead body hanging from a support beam brought tears to my eyes. Thank Gog I had my glasses. If John saw me crying, he would immediately know what about, and that wasn't how I wanted to tell him that I was crushing on Vantas.

Aradia finished her instruction and dismissed everyone but me. She walked over and sat down in the chair next to me.

"i need t0 talk t0 y0u ab0ut karkat. i really wish y0u w0uld have payed m0re attenti0n t0 what i was saying. if y0u're g0ing t0 be with him, y0u sh0uld kn0w m0re ab0ut him. i can guarantee y0u he d0esn't want t0 spend any date time y0u tw0 may have answering questi0ns f0r y0u ab0ut shit that he d0esn't want t0 remember," she stated matter-of-factly.

"is it really that obvious that i like him"

"yes dave. y0u can smell y0ur attracti0n t0wards him. it's quite 0bvi0us."

"well alright then. can you at least tell me how i can tell him if your going to pester me about it?"

"0f c0urse. the easiest way int0 karkat's heart is thr0ugh his mind. y0u have t0 appeal t0 him, and sh0w him h0w much y0u l0ve him. he's m0re blunt than y0u think. he's under the impressi0n that y0u hate him."

"why would he think that?"

"he sees your theiving 0f terezi as a declarati0n 0f hate," she stated, matter-of-factly.

"but dont you guys have a term for a romance based on hate? isn't that like a thing for you guys," I asked. The way she was saying it made me seem like I wasn't good enough to be with Karkat.

"yes we d0. it's called 'blackr0m,' but karkat d0esn't hate y0u. he hates that he's flushed f0r y0u, because he is still under the impressi0n that y0u hate him." She kept saying this shit as though I didn't meet up to his standards of prince charming. or maybe hers.

"so how should i go about starting a 'redrom' relationship with our little god of despair?" I stated with the least amount of sarcasm possible. That's basically what he turned into.

"i d0n't kn0w. ask him t0 a m0vie 0r s0mething."

"thats what the juggalo said."

"y0u talked t0 gamzee?"

"yeah. he was actually kind of helpful in my search of ways to steal vantas's heart."

"s0, i'm pretty sure y0u already heard this fr0m him, but-" she stood up and grabbed me off my feet by my shirt collar, before ripping my shades off my shades, "if y0u EVER hurt him, i will curse y0u t0 the darkest depths 0f hell until y0u bec0me s0 insane that y0u get used t0 it. Then, i'll send y0u back here t0 f0rce y0u t0 adapt back t0 s0ciety!"

With that, she left. I stood there in shock for a moment. Did that really just happen? Why was everyone so worried that I was going to hurt him?! Was I that bad of a guy, or was he really just that fragile?

Oh well. I knew what I was going to do. I had to ask him on a date, but how?


	6. Dave, Ask Karkat Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty Self-Explainitory

Dave took in a deep breath. He didn't understand why any of this had to be so difficult. The Knight of Time hadn't been worried at all about any previous interactions with Karkat, nor when asking anyone out. That was way to uncool, but his facade was failing in a matter of which the young Strider had never seen. 

The door was in front of him. He hadn't planned at all what he was going to do or how he was going to ask, so he decided to wing it. Dave lightly tapped on Karkat's bedroom door.

Then he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Dave got fed up with waiting and took out his phone.

turntechGodhead began pestering carcinoGeneticist at 16:28

TG: dude  
TG: dude where are you  
CG: I'M IN THE BASEMENT.  
CG: WHY?  
TG: i want to talk to you  
CG: ABOUT?  
TG: stuff  
TG: im gonna come to you  
CG: NO!  
CG: I’LL JUST COME UP TO YOU  
CG: JUST DON’T COME DOWN HERE.  
TG: what evs man  
TG: im outside your room  
TG: or respiteblock  
TG: or whatever the fuck you call it  
CG: YES YOU NOOKWHIFF. IT’S CALLED A RESPITE BLOCK.  
CG: I’M FINALLY UPSTAIRS.  
turntechGodhead stopped pestering carcinoGeneticist at 16:52

Well, that took longer than expected. How deep is this dudes basement anyway? Dave slumped against Karkat’s door. The damn thing was pretty fucking hefty for just a bedroom door; what kind of secrets did a warrior troll keep behind it? It didn’t matter, because Dave could hear the hefty pounding of Karkat’s combat boots thrashing their way down the hallway. When Karkat turned the corner, Dave took in the sight before him. Well, the wings were gone. Dave didn’t think he’d seen the mutant troll in anything so tight and form fitting. His black jeans seemed to grip his body like a fucking vice. The red and black striped V-neck t-shirt. He had black eyeliner rimming his still glowing red eyes and four ruby shark bite piercings in his bottom lip. He gave Dave an impatient glare.

“WELL?”

“well what?”

“OHMYFUCK! YOU CALLED ME UP HERE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IT?!”

The strider was extremely timid towards Karkat for some reason. The flash of anger from Karkat quickly receded to concern.

“well, um,” God! this was so uncool for him! “I was just wondering if you wanted to maybe... see a movie or something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I @m $o $orry th@t ! bot(hed D@ve'$ (h@r@(ter. ! feel l!ke ! re@lly me$$ed up !n term$ of h!$ @tt!tude tow@rd$ the $!tu@t!on.


End file.
